I first started to really explore my kinky side with a young girl who would become my wonderful wife a few years later. She was barely 20, naive and still in university. I was working, paying the bills and had my own apartment. Me being her “Daddy” was like a natural extension of our real life. So we made kind of a deal*. I would provide for her so she could study without being distracted by work and money. She would be the good girl who had to present her lovely and spankable butt whenever I wanted to. It worked out…sort of.
She was more into the caring dominance stuff and rough sex, less so into discipline and pain (the things I wanted to do). We experimented with quite a few things and I tried to push some boundaries but we soon hit a wall. She simply was not that submissive and always felt a bit uncomfortable being financially dependent on me.
Then circumstances changed. She finished university, got a job and gave birth to our daughter. It changed her. Being a father changed me too but for a woman to carry a small human for nine months, bringing her into the world and being almost solely responsible for the first few months. I won’t even pretend to understand the emotional impact. Now she is earning more money, I am a part time student again and even though I work from home I am more or less a “stay at home dad”. And I not only like but enjoy my new role (despite some stone age commentary from some coworkers).
So as we adjusted to our new real life roles we also switched our sexual roles. Turns out that in this relationship I am a much better sub and she is a much better dom. In fact she displays a delightful sadism and a penchant for constant teasing. As someone who really enjoys pain this fills me with the butterfly kind of love. So our kink mirrors our real life. The sexual and real life roles are intertwined. But that makes it difficult to switch roles easily and my dominant side feels a bit neglected. Maybe I will find a sweet, emotionally open and polyamorous woman someday who wants to play with dominant me.
*no legally binding contract was signed 😉